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But almost immediately, I began to notice peculiarities about my experience.

Among my single friends, and even in the conversations I overheard between strangers in coffee shops, women using dating sites described being “overwhelmed” and “flooded” with communication.

Like many singles, I had created an online dating profile. Now I decided to take it more seriously—these days, I seem to hear fewer and fewer stories of real life meet-cutes.

These two women joined on a lark, and they ended up meeting a soul mate.I uploaded pictures and filled out my profile with basic demographic information—height, body type, religion, and education.Over the following months, I would play with this slightly: I variously described myself as a dreamer, book lover, learner, educator, and writer, someone who views the world with a glass half-full of optimism and a dash of sarcasm.I didn’t just wait to be noticed: I also actively messaged others.I would take the time to read a guy’s profile and then mention common interests or things I found interesting, posing an easy question for him at the end—but I still received few responses.